THE ONE well 12 MUFFINS OF POWER!
by Calencristiel
Summary: Sam has made... EVIL MUFFINS?
1. The muffins

Disclamer: I don't own LOTR or anything in my story. I have a line or two from Austin Powers and a line from the MUMMY in there and I don't own neither of them.  
  
Samwise Gamgee pulled a tin of muffins out of the oven. "These smell very good." He told himself. He then remembered he had to be quiet. Mr. Frodo was still asleep and he did not want to awaken him.  
  
Sam looked out the window. It was such a lovely day! It would be such a nice day! He could garden, eat, garden, eat, garden- it sounded so good to Sam that he giggled. He clamped his hand over his mouth. To late.  
  
"SAM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY KITCHEN AT. 5 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING?" Frodo was standing at the kitchen door in pajamas with little blue ducks on them. "I thought you understood the restraining order! It meant you were not aloud to come within a square mile radius of me! THAT INCLUDES MY KITCHEN!"  
  
Sam put on his best pouty face. "But- but- Mr. Frodo-" Frodo just shook his head and pointed to the door. "Out." He said. He sniffed. "Leave the muffins though."  
  
Sam walked out the door with his head bowed low. He was beginning to suspect Mr. Frodo might not want him around.  
  
Frodo let out a long yawn. It was his Uncle Bilbo's 111th birthday last night. He had been up till one and now Sam had woke him up with his loud giggling.  
  
Suddenly the door to the pantry fell right off its hinges with a loud BANG! And lots of smoke. Frodo sighed. "Gandalf. There is such thing as a front door." Gandalf shook himself off. "Wellllll its more FUN THIS WAY!" Frodo rolled his eyes. Gandalf took a pipe out of his pocket and stuck it in his mouth. "Do you think I look hot like this?" Frodo blinked. "I'm going back to bed." He turned around and went back to his room. "But I'm supposed to ask you about the ring! Frodo! FRODO! COME BACK HERE!" Gandalf called after him. Gandalf sighed and was about to turn Frodo into a frog when he smelled a familiar smell... a GOOD smell... a TO good smell... a SO good smell that it was almost... evil. "Gasp." Gandalf said. "I HAVE smelled this smell before! IT'S THE SMELL OF THE ONE- well 12- MUFFINS OF POWER." He then broke into loud screams.  
  
Frodo came charging back into the kitchen. "WHAT IS IT NOWWWW?" He yelled. Gandalf explained it to him the long and complicated story of the One- well 12- Muffins of Power. "These muffins dude. There evil." Frodo nodded. "What must I do?" He asked. Gandalf shrugged. "We could eat them. Or we could take them to Rivendell. Elves have a strange love for muffins." Frodo nodded. "We do that."  
  
Suddenly a rustle was heard out the window. Gandalf through a clock out the window. "OWWW" Was heard. "THAT WAS AN ANTIQUE CLOCK GANDALF! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" Frodo screeched. Gandalf shrugged. "I wanted to see time fly out the window." Gandalf and the strange voice out the window cracked up. Frodo glared at Gandalf. "That's NOT funny." Gandalf shrugged again and went to the window. He yanked the person in. "Why if it ain't my little buddy Sam. I think I'll kill you know." Sam shook in his little hobbit feet. Gandalf thought a minute then changed his mind. "No. I have a better use for you."  
  
Gandalf, Frodo, Sam, and Bill the Pony started out to Rivendel. Gandalf left them when they were about a mile out of the Shire. "Where did Gandalf say he was going again Mr. Frodo?" Sam asked. Frodo shrugged. "I dunno Sam. He said something about some white wizard doing his nails."  
  
Finally they reached Bree. "Umm.... Frodo." "Yes Sam." "Did Gandalf say the Galloping Gizzard? The Cantering Cactus? The Walking Walrus?" Frodo looked around. "WE'RE LOSSTT!"  
  
Is it any good? Please R&R and tell me! Please no flames! 


	2. Candy Land

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in my story. Anyone surprised?  
  
"WHERE LOSSSSSSSSSSSSST" Frodo had been screeching that for over an hour now. Sam was curled up in a ball whimpering. Suddenly a strange man walked up to them. He was dragging along two rather drunk looking hobbits. "Oh stop yelling! You draw far to much attention to yourself Mr. Underhill and Through the Woods to Grandmothers House we go!" Frodo blinked at him. The strange man continued. "I am Strider. Do you happen to know these two hobbits?" One of the hobbits looked up. "Look Merry! Its Merry and Pippin!" He shook his head. "No that's not right. That's speaking in 3rd person!" The other hobbit looked up. "No! Its Pippin and Merry!" The first hobbit nodded. "THAT makes sense." Frodo blinked at them to. "I know them." He said finally. Strider nodded wisely. "I thought so." "Now follow me. I shall take you to Rivendell."  
  
It was a long and dangerous journey to Rivendell. And there seemed to be something following them! Some weird beings in pink cloaks that road cats. They scared all the hobbits and even Strider with there pure evil cuddly cuteness. Only Strider knew these evil beings where after the muffins. You see, Sam, the idiot, had put EVIL blueberries in the muffins. And of course everyone knows that evil blueberries are everywhere and it is quite easy to tell that they are evil. They are bright yellow and have 'EVIL' across the middle of them. Sauron LOVED muffins. So any time One- well 12- Muffins of Power where made, he sent his Muffinwraiths out to get them.  
  
Strider decided they needed to go a secret way to Rivendell. A way so terrible that it might cause them to all die. The hobbits soon found themselves standing in front oh a large gate. "Can it be?" Started Merry. "Oh gosh I hope its not." Started Frodo. "ITS CANDY LAND!" Sam screeched. "I've heard tell of this before." Frodo said. "People enter this place and never return." "Why? Whats wrong with candy?" Asked Pippin, who had not heard the stories. "Gasp." Said all the other Hobbits in unison. "Pippin! The candy in this place is good... but the people... they're mad. They... BREAK INTO SONG! AND DANCE at odd times." Frodo said, shuddering with every word. Strider slowly pushed the gates open.  
  
"Stay close behind me Hobbits. This is a dangerous place. And remember. DON'T EAT THE CANDY! The people of Candy Land will be drawn its power!" They walked a lonnnngggg way through candy trees, candy bushes, candy snails. Finally poor Pippin couldn't take it any more. He picked a candy berry and popped in his mouth. Suddenly the bright sunlight was stamped out. Strange wind whipped through the candy trees.  
  
Suddenly a strange noise was heard. It was singing... odd singing. Suddenly sunlight flooded back. Thousands and thousands of people where crowded around the unfortunate hobbits and Strider. The people where dressed in pink and orange. They started chanting "New friends to tourt- play with. New friends to tourt- play with." Finally one of them raised there arm. "ATTA- Er. I mean. SING!" And all of the strange people started to sing. And dance. THE MACARAENA! The four hobbits screamed bloody murder. Strider drew his sword. "Come! We will have to fight them!" He said, terror filling his heart. The hobbits drew their daggerish things. "Back you devils!" Yelled Sam. The Macareana dancers drew their candy cane swords. Sam screamed and pushed Frodo at them. "KILL HIM! NOT ME!" One of them stabbed Frodo in the shoulder. "Ow." Said Frodo. Strider fought a path through the odd people. Finally they reached the exit of Candy Land.  
  
Frodo's wound was serious. Part of the candy cane sword had broken off into his shoulder. It was giving him a MASSIVE sugar high. "I like TROLLS! THERE SO CUTE AND CUDDLY!" That is an example of the crazy things he said. Strider knew he would have to get Frodo to Rivendell before the sugar low set in.  
  
Suddenly an elf with long flowing blond hair came by and swooped Frodo up. "MUHAHAHAHA! I GOT HIM! TAKE THAT ARWEN!" He yelled as he rode away. A few seconds later another elf with brown hair came riding by. "IM GOING TO GET YOU GLORIFINDEL! JUST YOU WAIT!" She screeched as she followed him. The hobbits and Strider blinked. Frodo's shouts of "DON'T EAT THE TREES! TROLLS DON'T LIKE CHEESE! I LOVVVVVE SUGAR!" Soon sounded far away. "Well." Said Strider. "I guess we should continue to Rivendell. The hobbits blinked again then nodded.  
  
Please review! Thanks! 


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